A situation arose today that is a clear example of playing detective. We went to a warehouse style store which was difficult for my son, as most stores are since most stores utilize scents. They have scented cleaners, air fresheners, and some even have scents to stimulate impulse buying. He wore his KN95 mask in the store and managed to tolerate the experience but whenever he experiences heavy exposure to scent for a prolonged time, his cup gets closer to full.
Measuring The Cup
What does a full cup mean? I learned to view my son’s behavior based on how full his cup is from exposure to triggers. I try to manage him more delicately as his cups gets more full and allow more leeway for activities and food when it seems less full. But, when his cup of trigger exposure gets close to 90%, he boils over easily and can hit a point of no return: reactions; behavioral and mental health episodes that can last hours. At these times, I strive to provide as pure an environment and food source as possible, in addition to stress- free.
He was managing well although slightly precarious after 2 hours in the store and the heavy traffic for the drive over; the mask was doing a good job keeping him stable. However, when we arrived home, we had to run an errand at a local store. A television was playing with a cartoon of planes with real human faces. He looked at me and said he was traumatized by the show and went out to the car. I made a checkmark in the back of my brain that he may be getting fatigued (also a sign of a full cup of triggers). As I was paying, he started to honk the car: another sign that he is struggling to stay together.
When we arrived home, he insisted on sitting outside for a while, but when he went to his room, he lost it. He literally had a mental breakdown because the item we had bought was defective. He could not function; he was crying, yelling, cursing, sobbing. He was a mess.
Play Detective: Start With The Most Current And Work Backwards 1-2 Days
Think detective mode! I went through the mental checklist of what could be causing his behavior to react so strongly. The first step I usually look at is hunger. I gave him a glass of milk while I made a bowl of oatmeal: two items that usually help him bounce back. He was still sobbing after the milk and would not touch the food.
I replayed the day in my mind and whammo, I realized it was the local store exposure. They had been burning incense or some type of scent the day before and the chemical was probably still in the air and on him. Recall, he said he was traumatized by the cartoon: an odd statement for him to make (another clue: “odd” comments).
Create A “Clean” Rescue Environment
I convinced him to take off his shirt and put on a fresh one since he adamantly refused to shower. Once he switched shirts, his behavior immediately returned to normal. He was calm, easy-going, ate his food, and then showered for bed. No more drama.
All this drama over 2 hours and all he had to do was change his shirt.
This is not the first time that he has had breakdowns after exposure to scents where a shirt change does the trick. One time I forgot to have an extra shirt in the car for him and he had to wear one of my stretchy tank tops. That was hilarious.
Lesson learned: Keep playing detective; keep an open mind; and always carry a second shirt for emergencies.
